Psychology, why your pick-up line might not work

The community often talks about "Congruency". Congruency is a way of saying that your spoken words and conscious actions match your subconscious behavior. To test it, try saying, "I love you" while clenching your fists and jaw hard, and breathing shallow. Doesn't sound very sincere does it?

Psychologists studying emotions gave a name to this phenomenon:

The Law of Apparent Reality

Whatever seems real to us, can elicit an emotional response. In other words how we appraise or interpret a situation governs the emotion we feel (compare with laws 11 & 12). The reason poor movies, plays or books don't engage us emotionally is because, in some sense, we fail to detect truth. Similarly it's difficult to get emotional about things that aren't obvious, right in front of us. For example grief may not strike when we are told about the death of loved one, but only once it becomes real to us in some way - say when we pick up the phone to call them, forgetting they are gone.

In short, a poorly delivered line lacks any emotional kick to it because the girl doesn't believe it. It simply isn't real.

Another interesting tidbit is on why we experience fear of rejection even if it has been years since that event:

8. The Law of Conservation of Emotional Momentum
Time doesn't heal all wounds - or if it does, it only does so indirectly. Events can retain their emotional power over the years unless we re-experience and re-evaluate them. It's this re-experiencing and consequent re-definition that reduces the emotional charge of an event. This is why events that haven't been re-evaluated - say, failing an exam or being rejected by a potential lover - retain their emotional power across the decades.