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http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/127720.php
Sometimes, it's not just you.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Women can literally smell sex
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/134932.php
Women's brains encode males sweat during sex. Literally, women can smell the sex on you.
Women's brains encode males sweat during sex. Literally, women can smell the sex on you.
Ross Jeffries on goal setting
Appropriately enough, after I posted a link about some of the dangers of goal setting, Ross Jeffries put up an excellent video on how to avoid the common pitfalls and stay focused. This video is highly recommended.
Attribution Bias, why your calibration is off
This is one of my favorite social psychology biases:
http://psychology.about.com/od/aindex/g/actor-observer.htm
The Actor-Observer Bias. In a nutshell, what it says is that we tend to judge our own negative actions in terms of circumstances. There's a Stylelife DVD with Neil Strauss where he's coaching a seminar. A girl comes onto stage and he asks the guys to judge her. The responses are things like "Gold digger", "high maintenance", and "Daddy's girl". They're all dead wrong. Neil seems visibly upset when he tells them that none of that is true, it's all in their head.
Now for you psychology nuts, you already know that this is technically "projection", not actor observer bias. But stay with me, there's a point. A common problem that guys have is they go into the set and assume that if something goes wrong, it is the girls fault. "That girl must be a total b***h." Not true. In pick-up, it's most likely because you did something wrong. However, sometimes, you did nothing wrong. The fact is, you have no idea what's going on in her life. To assume you can predict that is to fall victim to the actor-observer bias.
So if you want to get your calibration up to speed, you need to learn how to read the situation properly.
1.) Don't make a common newbie mistake. Newbies often do three sets and if one of those three sets goes badly, they assume there's a mistake. Aim for opening at least ten sets. If seven out of those ten sets are giving you feedback about the same mistake, then you have a real sticking point. Because you can't control whatever is affecting her in her life, you need more to get the real feedback.
2.) Don't "read into her type". You have no idea what her type even is, much less whether or not you are close to it. Instead, go in with no attachment to the outcome and the frame that you are the "Partying Pope" (Mehow) who is going to present a compelling reality to the girl.
3.) Be aware of bad behavior on your part. Remember that if you get pissed off or "reactive", people will read this as being a personality trait about you. Rather than assuming you had a bad day, they will assume you are a jerk.
http://psychology.about.com/od/aindex/g/actor-observer.htm
The Actor-Observer Bias. In a nutshell, what it says is that we tend to judge our own negative actions in terms of circumstances. There's a Stylelife DVD with Neil Strauss where he's coaching a seminar. A girl comes onto stage and he asks the guys to judge her. The responses are things like "Gold digger", "high maintenance", and "Daddy's girl". They're all dead wrong. Neil seems visibly upset when he tells them that none of that is true, it's all in their head.
Now for you psychology nuts, you already know that this is technically "projection", not actor observer bias. But stay with me, there's a point. A common problem that guys have is they go into the set and assume that if something goes wrong, it is the girls fault. "That girl must be a total b***h." Not true. In pick-up, it's most likely because you did something wrong. However, sometimes, you did nothing wrong. The fact is, you have no idea what's going on in her life. To assume you can predict that is to fall victim to the actor-observer bias.
So if you want to get your calibration up to speed, you need to learn how to read the situation properly.
1.) Don't make a common newbie mistake. Newbies often do three sets and if one of those three sets goes badly, they assume there's a mistake. Aim for opening at least ten sets. If seven out of those ten sets are giving you feedback about the same mistake, then you have a real sticking point. Because you can't control whatever is affecting her in her life, you need more to get the real feedback.
2.) Don't "read into her type". You have no idea what her type even is, much less whether or not you are close to it. Instead, go in with no attachment to the outcome and the frame that you are the "Partying Pope" (Mehow) who is going to present a compelling reality to the girl.
3.) Be aware of bad behavior on your part. Remember that if you get pissed off or "reactive", people will read this as being a personality trait about you. Rather than assuming you had a bad day, they will assume you are a jerk.
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